Fear

Hello everyone!

Yeah, its been a while! Life has been crazy. I’ve not been doing great on what I eat, but I have been doing better than if I’d not been conscious of things at all. We went on a mini vacation over the weekend(planned long ago) and I decided no way was I stepping on the scale when I got home–even though I was better than I could have been.

I also had to laugh at myself–I said I was taking Sunday and Monday off from exercise…whatever! We went to a water park in the Dells–do you know that every ride has to be accessed by climbing stairs????

Oh yeah, my legs hurt! It was fun though. I’m sharing pictures of it over the next few days interspersed with some other pictures I have at my writing blog.

I have been doing well on my exercise though! YAY!!! I mixed things up last week knowing we were going to be leaving. Originally I’d intended on doing a LONG run on Saturday but time in the end was cut short and I ended up only having enough for a short run. I did 3 miles. The good news on this was–I did it in 25 minutes and felt great! I can’t tell you what a boost that was to my mentally. I was dancing. I walked this morning–trying to loosing up the muscles but will start back in on the regular schedule tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. I love running. ( I will hopefully get to updating my exercise log sometime today or at the very latest by tomorrow)

Which brings me to my title. I have had ton’s of people ask me(my husband in particular) why I felt I had to do such a long run, why I had to sign up for a marathon? I didn’t have a good answer other than that I wanted to do it. He thought I was crazy, okay still does, but has supported me. I kept wondering and pondering this though–why did I want to do such a long run to start off with? Why not a 6-8 mile run as he kept suggesting(until I signed up for the long run officially)? Well when I was out running, not this past weekend but the one before when I did 8 miles I finally had my answer.

6-8 miles is simply not far enough to strike fear into my heart to make me get up off my lazy butt and out that door! 26 miles on the other hand is. I mean, I can already run 8 miles. I don’t know if I can do 26 (though I obviously believe I can–eventually) and I most certainly don’t know if I can do it in 4 hours. Either way its too far to simply think…oh take the next three months off and then get up that morning and head out and run it.

ahhhh, not going to happen unless I want a heart-attack. Obviously I don’t.

So fear is a huge reason I needed to sign up for something long. I love fear. Cause you know what? It help motivates me. And this is a good thing. I love to run. I feel awesome when I get out there and run. Even on days I think…why? I’m really not up for this. Usually I’m thanking high heaven above I did go cause I feel so good as soon as I do. It affects everything I do and man, I just can’t get over how great I feel despite…not always eating right. I am making changes overall and that is what this is all about. Making lasting changes.